Sunday, 24 February 2013

Preparing To Take Flight

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One of the things I love about the course (in the Fine Art Group anyway), is how you are given free reign to explore whatever themes and media experimentations you feel inclined towards, as long as you check in with your tutors every now and again

I had been given so many pieces to complete following my tutorial/exam, but instead I went off in my own direction this week. Having made so many waxed paper pieces, I wanted to get into creating heavily textured canvasses on which to paint on, in the spirit of Antoni Tapies, and Anselm Kiefer (my main influences right now). It wasn't what I was meant to be getting on with but what can I say, I get bored easily lol....Anyhow I gathered natural materials from around the house and garden, and incorporated them into my paintwork, and they turned out really well! Here is a snippet of some of the effects I managed to achieve...

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I foldformed a long piece of copper into this sinuous form, and included it in the piece

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this is a cropped shot from a mixed media piece I am working on which includes waxed papers and a copper foldformed piece

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close up views of a purple textured abstract painting

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I think passing the exam so well has had a wonderfully positive effect on me this week. I have felt more free to mess around, knowing I don't have to pass another exam for ages now. I had been mulling over whether or not to pursue doing the Fine Art degree (as it seems likely I'll be offered a place as things stand) - there are so many pro's and cons regarding this. Finances are the biggest stumbling block, as well as mental health considerations and conflicting commitments to the shop. Truthfully I only set up theonline shop in between offline shows, and have never really put any proper effort into it since it's inception, I now have less than a full page of items on the front page of the Etsy shop , oh dear. I just seemed to have so many other things going on, but I do feel things are stabilising now, which is what I need more than anything really

I love making jewellery, but it doesn't fulfil my deepest needs for art to work as a therapeutic release for all the rubbish I have had to deal with. The course is teaching me how to channel those energies and turn it into something beautiful, my tutor thinks it's a form of Transcendentalism, turning spiritual decay and darkness into light . It certainly has been a life changing experience, and not just a course - it also helps that I have made the relationships that I have during my time there. You can actually make yourself believe that you are not acceptable or fit for society anymore, especially when jealous, ugly people encourage that negative spiral to take hold

Working in my studio at home over long periods of time has been rather isolating, and internet relationships do not make up for adult human contact really (well not to me). I also wanted to mix with other like minded people, who don't find artistic pursuits to be frivolous. I also had no idea of how good or bad I was - it is hard to know without proper guidance...anyway having mulled everything over I think I am going to do the degree, on a Part time and thus, more affordable basis. The extra time will go into the shop, to try to raise funds to pay for the course. This way I have a community I can feel I belong to, and can thrive there

Inspired by these events I am also thinking about writing a book dealing with Adult Survivors of Child Abuse and the ignorance they face. People really don't seem to realise that even though there is a designated sexual predator in the scenario, there is often also a pathological family set up too. My own experiences of how these other "family" members can knowingly perpetuate abuse cycles and how to overcome them may be of use to others...who is not something I will repeat mentioning here anyway.It is just something I will do in the future....

Anyway, changing the subject, these textured pieces and experimentations got me thinking about making altered art journals, as something else I can add to my shop. I will be setting up an arts shop as a sister shop to the jewellery one this year we've decided (the hubby and me), so we'll see. Hopefully, I'll get a more stable life of spiritual fulfillment , challenge and growth...and who knows where it all may lead.

Samantha Braund

1 comment:

karensqd said...

Samantha, Hi, I just read this and I just want to encourage you to write your book. It will be hard, but you're right, people need to hear how others have survived trauma. The betrayal of family is so hard, the worst, especially the betrayal that no one sees. I think it will be good for you as well. You have survived and thrived. I'm so glad. Your art improves the world and all who see it. I wish I could give you a big hug. God bless you. Karen Douglass.

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